FAQ
Welcome to Wine Disorder, a forum run by people with an abnormal interest in wine for people with an abnormal interest in talking about wine.
In order to post, you must register using a real name and provide a real email address. While we have a strong preference that people post using their real names, we will generally allow people to post under a username if you persuade us of the reasons why. The "Plea" in your registration form is your opportunity for persuasion. One username per person, please.
We intend to encourage a wide-ranging and free-wheeling discussion forum and to moderate as little as possible. However, threatening behavior or repeated annoying or inane posts that fall outside the normal curve of annoyingness and inaninity may lead to a loss of posting privileges.
Ideally, this forum would be a "post-wine guru" forum where people do not generally feel compelled to comment on wine gurus and their relative superpowers, or lack thereof. Some things in life should be self-evident. And, frankly, there's not much that's more tiresome to us than having to wade through a steady stream of personal grievances or comments about how the posters, moderators, or wine gurus at some other wine forum are either evil or stupid. So please post that stuff THERE, not here, or go buy your own soapbox.
This is all really more in the nature of a flexible guideline than a hard and fast rule, as there may be comments made by well-known wine gurus that do deserve a little rubbernecking and commentary from time to time, but please, in general, try to avoid being a bore. Please.
We hope that Wine Disorder will be an enjoyable place for wine-afflicted souls from all backgrounds to discuss wine with as little bullshit as possible.
So, this place is moderated? Really?
Wine Disorder is very lightly moderated by a rotating volunteer Politburo of strikingly attractive and witty men- and women-about-town, all of whom have very active work and social lives and don't like staying up late wading through nonsense.
Can I contact this 'Politburo' with questions or problems?
Contact with the Politburo tends to take the form of a knock on the door at 4 a.m. Consider carefully whether you really want this. Should you be reckless enough to wish to draw the Politburo's attention to yourself, you will find the pulldown menu in the 'message' function helpful.
Do I HAVE to register?
Only if you want to contribute to the discussions. Otherwise, feel free to browse and sample all of our bounteous content absolutely free of charge.
If I DO register, will you sell my name and email address to people who will send me things about V!aggggrAAA or breast enlargement pills or monthly wine clubs?
No. We will never sell or give away your private information to anyone. Ever. Ours is not a commercial venture--the elusive geniuses behind Wine Disorder simply want a nice, safe playpen for like-minded obsessives to be able to yak away to their hearts' content without fear of nutjobs or spammers busting in on them.
Can I post here if I work in the wine business, or am I going to get hassled and called a spammer?
Wine Disorder welcomes contributions from those valiant souls who toil in the trenches of the wine and wine-related industries. In fact, some of our most valued contributors are bottle monkeys, cellar rats and three-tier schnooks. We do not, however, welcome unsolicited aggressively commercial posts of a spammish nature, particularly from posters not well known to us. We reserve the right to discern the difference between the two, without recourse or appeal.
Can I say 'fuck'?
Yes, you may. Wine Disorder is not The New York Times, and we understand that the world of online wine discourse is a dark, angry place full of borderline personalities nursing grudges against their better-adjusted brethren who dwell in the world of light. We will not faint dead away at the use of a salty phrase or three, but we also value a well-turned quip and hope your vocabulary contains more than one adjective. That being said, we discourage a locker room atmosphere, so a basic level of civility is suggested. This especially applies to inflammatory political/religious discourse, which really has no place on a wine chat board. If you're just out to be a douchebag, you'll find yourself out on your ear fairly quickly. Unless you're the kind of douchebag we like.
Isn't that kind of arbitrary...?
Yes it is. These are grey areas, and we pride ourselves on the capricious enforcement of poorly-defined rules. If you don't like it, start your own damn board.
Why the obsession with real names?
We at Wine Disorder are proud to buck the internet zeitgeist. We've seen wine chat boards come and go, and we're convinced that the civility that is inspired by the notion that one is actually talking to another real, live human being is key to a successful community. Seriously, who would you be more inclined to be polite to, Bob Moore or WINESTUDBOY?
But what if I have valid personal or professional reasons I don't want my name out there for all to see...?
We understand that a good percentage of our participants may be on the lam from the IRS, enraged spouses and/or organized crime. Therefore in certain cases exceptions can and will be made. Our old wine bud J.D. Salinger has been granted leave to post under a fake name, you might be too. Persuade us, using the handy PLEA FOR FAKE NAME section of the registration form. Consider also the intermediate path of listing your real name in your profile, while reserving your screen name for your forum posts.
Can I edit or delete my posts if I sober up and realize I've made a terrible mistake?
Don't worry, we've all been there. Editing posts is easy--once you've registered you'll see a small EDIT link appear next to the 'posted by' tag on anything you've posted. Just click on that, make your changes, and resubmit. You can delete reply posts, but due to the structure of the forum software you can't wholly delete initial posts once they've been replied to, although you can edit them to delete any text.
Can I post links to my blog? I write some really great stuff! Or what about my site where I sell magnetic wine agers? They totally work!
We confess, we do find it tedious carrying on a conversation with someone wearing a virtual sandwich board which crows BUY MY EXCELLENT TRINKETS!!! or READ MY EXCELLENT BLOG!!! at the end of every paragraph or so. There's a place in your profile to list your homepage or blog or trinket barn, so please leave the advertising on the doorstep when you come in to Wine Disorder.
But the world must know of my fabulous talents! Leaving them in the dark is a crime against humanity!
Yes, yes, we know you're justifiably proud of your little dog-and-pony show, and we're very happy for you. To that end, we do have a Disorderly Links page that just might suit your needs. All any registered member in good standing needs to do is fill out the online form briefly detailing their website and concomitant plan for world domination, then submit it for the Politburo's review. If you're not a spammer or a scammer there's good reason to believe you'll pass muster and be eternally enshrined in our pantheon of clickable links.
What's this 'Jeebus Board' all about?
The Jeebus Board is a separate forum for the organization of offline get-togethers. You know, where you actually go somewhere and meet up with people in real life? The Jeebus is a frightening concept, but some folks seem to like it.
You guys only like thin, sour wines made by hippies who dance naked by moonlight, right? Can I post if I drink only Barossa shiraz? Or will I be mocked mercilessly and driven away in shame?
Wine Disorder has no editorial viewpoint when it comes to wine; no mission statement, no approved philosophy, no list of oenologically correct producers or methods. We encourage discussion on all aspects of the wine experience. Really. No, really. However, ours is a fairly rough-and-tumble atmosphere, so if you're a thin-skinned type with an aversion to the frank exchange of views it might be best to lurk for awhile before diving in, just to get a sense of the place and its denizens, who for the most part have only recently learned to stand upright and bathe semi-monthly.
What's with all the in-jokes? Is this some kind of clique?
Many of the posters on Wine Disorder have spent years traipsing around the internet together, and yes, we're aware that there can sometimes be an appearance of clubbiness. Unfortunately, that's going to happen in any ingrown, insular community of like-minded zealots. Happily for the newcomer, our familiarity with one another has bred a good amount of contempt, so fresh meat for the grinder is always welcome. Truthfully, what most of us do is just pretend to understand all the in-jokes. Sincerity is the key: once you can fake that, you're in like Flynn.
I've got more cash than I know what to do with. Is there any way I can offer material support to help these elusive geniuses in their struggle to keep the world safe for challenging internet wine discussion?
Wine Disorder does not accept donations. The selfless men and women behind the scenes here regard the sacrifice of time and treasure as their chance to give a little something back to the world of internet wine chat, a world that has been very kind to them.
Where are the cute little cartoon smiley faces and winky-winky embedded icon things?
Where? On EVERY OTHER SITE ON THE INTERNET. We hate that cutesy animated cartoon shit. What are you, seven? If so, beat it. Come back when you're legal, you want to get us in trouble?
Hey, what's with the attitude?
We get a little cranky sometimes. It's just that we've all worked so very hard for so long without benefit of sleep or salary or hygiene, and there's all these frequent damn questions to answer, it's just more than we bargained for, you know? Don't mind us, just go play and post things and have fun, that's all we ask.
In order to post, you must register using a real name and provide a real email address. While we have a strong preference that people post using their real names, we will generally allow people to post under a username if you persuade us of the reasons why. The "Plea" in your registration form is your opportunity for persuasion. One username per person, please.
We intend to encourage a wide-ranging and free-wheeling discussion forum and to moderate as little as possible. However, threatening behavior or repeated annoying or inane posts that fall outside the normal curve of annoyingness and inaninity may lead to a loss of posting privileges.
Ideally, this forum would be a "post-wine guru" forum where people do not generally feel compelled to comment on wine gurus and their relative superpowers, or lack thereof. Some things in life should be self-evident. And, frankly, there's not much that's more tiresome to us than having to wade through a steady stream of personal grievances or comments about how the posters, moderators, or wine gurus at some other wine forum are either evil or stupid. So please post that stuff THERE, not here, or go buy your own soapbox.
This is all really more in the nature of a flexible guideline than a hard and fast rule, as there may be comments made by well-known wine gurus that do deserve a little rubbernecking and commentary from time to time, but please, in general, try to avoid being a bore. Please.
We hope that Wine Disorder will be an enjoyable place for wine-afflicted souls from all backgrounds to discuss wine with as little bullshit as possible.
So, this place is moderated? Really?
Wine Disorder is very lightly moderated by a rotating volunteer Politburo of strikingly attractive and witty men- and women-about-town, all of whom have very active work and social lives and don't like staying up late wading through nonsense.
Can I contact this 'Politburo' with questions or problems?
Contact with the Politburo tends to take the form of a knock on the door at 4 a.m. Consider carefully whether you really want this. Should you be reckless enough to wish to draw the Politburo's attention to yourself, you will find the pulldown menu in the 'message' function helpful.
Do I HAVE to register?
Only if you want to contribute to the discussions. Otherwise, feel free to browse and sample all of our bounteous content absolutely free of charge.
If I DO register, will you sell my name and email address to people who will send me things about V!aggggrAAA or breast enlargement pills or monthly wine clubs?
No. We will never sell or give away your private information to anyone. Ever. Ours is not a commercial venture--the elusive geniuses behind Wine Disorder simply want a nice, safe playpen for like-minded obsessives to be able to yak away to their hearts' content without fear of nutjobs or spammers busting in on them.
Can I post here if I work in the wine business, or am I going to get hassled and called a spammer?
Wine Disorder welcomes contributions from those valiant souls who toil in the trenches of the wine and wine-related industries. In fact, some of our most valued contributors are bottle monkeys, cellar rats and three-tier schnooks. We do not, however, welcome unsolicited aggressively commercial posts of a spammish nature, particularly from posters not well known to us. We reserve the right to discern the difference between the two, without recourse or appeal.
Can I say 'fuck'?
Yes, you may. Wine Disorder is not The New York Times, and we understand that the world of online wine discourse is a dark, angry place full of borderline personalities nursing grudges against their better-adjusted brethren who dwell in the world of light. We will not faint dead away at the use of a salty phrase or three, but we also value a well-turned quip and hope your vocabulary contains more than one adjective. That being said, we discourage a locker room atmosphere, so a basic level of civility is suggested. This especially applies to inflammatory political/religious discourse, which really has no place on a wine chat board. If you're just out to be a douchebag, you'll find yourself out on your ear fairly quickly. Unless you're the kind of douchebag we like.
Isn't that kind of arbitrary...?
Yes it is. These are grey areas, and we pride ourselves on the capricious enforcement of poorly-defined rules. If you don't like it, start your own damn board.
Why the obsession with real names?
We at Wine Disorder are proud to buck the internet zeitgeist. We've seen wine chat boards come and go, and we're convinced that the civility that is inspired by the notion that one is actually talking to another real, live human being is key to a successful community. Seriously, who would you be more inclined to be polite to, Bob Moore or WINESTUDBOY?
But what if I have valid personal or professional reasons I don't want my name out there for all to see...?
We understand that a good percentage of our participants may be on the lam from the IRS, enraged spouses and/or organized crime. Therefore in certain cases exceptions can and will be made. Our old wine bud J.D. Salinger has been granted leave to post under a fake name, you might be too. Persuade us, using the handy PLEA FOR FAKE NAME section of the registration form. Consider also the intermediate path of listing your real name in your profile, while reserving your screen name for your forum posts.
Can I edit or delete my posts if I sober up and realize I've made a terrible mistake?
Don't worry, we've all been there. Editing posts is easy--once you've registered you'll see a small EDIT link appear next to the 'posted by' tag on anything you've posted. Just click on that, make your changes, and resubmit. You can delete reply posts, but due to the structure of the forum software you can't wholly delete initial posts once they've been replied to, although you can edit them to delete any text.
Can I post links to my blog? I write some really great stuff! Or what about my site where I sell magnetic wine agers? They totally work!
We confess, we do find it tedious carrying on a conversation with someone wearing a virtual sandwich board which crows BUY MY EXCELLENT TRINKETS!!! or READ MY EXCELLENT BLOG!!! at the end of every paragraph or so. There's a place in your profile to list your homepage or blog or trinket barn, so please leave the advertising on the doorstep when you come in to Wine Disorder.
But the world must know of my fabulous talents! Leaving them in the dark is a crime against humanity!
Yes, yes, we know you're justifiably proud of your little dog-and-pony show, and we're very happy for you. To that end, we do have a Disorderly Links page that just might suit your needs. All any registered member in good standing needs to do is fill out the online form briefly detailing their website and concomitant plan for world domination, then submit it for the Politburo's review. If you're not a spammer or a scammer there's good reason to believe you'll pass muster and be eternally enshrined in our pantheon of clickable links.
What's this 'Jeebus Board' all about?
The Jeebus Board is a separate forum for the organization of offline get-togethers. You know, where you actually go somewhere and meet up with people in real life? The Jeebus is a frightening concept, but some folks seem to like it.
You guys only like thin, sour wines made by hippies who dance naked by moonlight, right? Can I post if I drink only Barossa shiraz? Or will I be mocked mercilessly and driven away in shame?
Wine Disorder has no editorial viewpoint when it comes to wine; no mission statement, no approved philosophy, no list of oenologically correct producers or methods. We encourage discussion on all aspects of the wine experience. Really. No, really. However, ours is a fairly rough-and-tumble atmosphere, so if you're a thin-skinned type with an aversion to the frank exchange of views it might be best to lurk for awhile before diving in, just to get a sense of the place and its denizens, who for the most part have only recently learned to stand upright and bathe semi-monthly.
What's with all the in-jokes? Is this some kind of clique?
Many of the posters on Wine Disorder have spent years traipsing around the internet together, and yes, we're aware that there can sometimes be an appearance of clubbiness. Unfortunately, that's going to happen in any ingrown, insular community of like-minded zealots. Happily for the newcomer, our familiarity with one another has bred a good amount of contempt, so fresh meat for the grinder is always welcome. Truthfully, what most of us do is just pretend to understand all the in-jokes. Sincerity is the key: once you can fake that, you're in like Flynn.
I've got more cash than I know what to do with. Is there any way I can offer material support to help these elusive geniuses in their struggle to keep the world safe for challenging internet wine discussion?
Wine Disorder does not accept donations. The selfless men and women behind the scenes here regard the sacrifice of time and treasure as their chance to give a little something back to the world of internet wine chat, a world that has been very kind to them.
Where are the cute little cartoon smiley faces and winky-winky embedded icon things?
Where? On EVERY OTHER SITE ON THE INTERNET. We hate that cutesy animated cartoon shit. What are you, seven? If so, beat it. Come back when you're legal, you want to get us in trouble?
Hey, what's with the attitude?
We get a little cranky sometimes. It's just that we've all worked so very hard for so long without benefit of sleep or salary or hygiene, and there's all these frequent damn questions to answer, it's just more than we bargained for, you know? Don't mind us, just go play and post things and have fun, that's all we ask.