Higgs Boson

I liked this whole thread better when I thought Higgs boson was some new overpriced Napa Cab or maybe a yachting syndicate or something equally (and relatively) benign (either de jure or de facto but I'll honestly tell you that I couldn't have told you prior to reading Ian's link the difference between them, so at least some good has come from this exercise in science or nihilism, but I don't know which it is). Maybe I should wait until someone sends me a message from the future to explain it all to me.

But no, this is about the sort of thing that would be a Denzel Washington or Bruce Willis movie, what with the potential of people from the future (or maybe it's the machine itself) causing itself to not be created in the first place. Or maybe it's God trying to make sure that we don't find out what we're really made of just so there's no competitor for the Earth franchise.

And what what to make of "Dr Lily Asquith, who models data for the LHC". WTF does that mean? Is she hot, like Victoria's Secret or Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue hot? Lady Gaga wore a meat dress so maybe Dr. Asquith can wear data (although I envision something on adding machine tape, but she strikes me as someone who wouldn't use an adding machine, seeing as how she has access to all sorts of supercomputers and iPads and stuff). Is she a dataist? Does she Dali with data? I do see that she is an "engaged scholar", so does that mean she's getting married, presumably to another scientist? Maybe he's on orb-spinner/spanner sort of scientist who came back from the future to implant disinformation into her head to send us off in the wrong directions, sort of like they did to Philip K. Dick's brain. I could see Tom Cruise playing that role, but that might not be acting for him now, would it. And maybe Stanley Kubrick could come back to direct this movie, rather than Jerry Bruckheimer, who'd just want to blow everything up anyway without any reason for it in the plot. Wasn't Kramer's head preserved cryogenically for just such an eventuality?

And the more links I follow, the more I realize that this all is barely scratching the surface of this topic, what with the Death-Match 3000 ramifications of the whole Fermian vs. Bosans issue in Asquith's The Joy of Statistics article.I'm okay with gluons and quarks, but this raises the debate to a whole new level. Or not. I just don't know anymore! Jesus, don't these scientists have journals to review or undergrad papers to grade or something better to do with their time than scaring the crap out of us?

Honestly, if I hadn't just been contacted by Newt Gingrich to help him rework the science plank of his (presumed, but in a hubristic manner) 2012 platform, I'd probably just avoid all this theoretical stuff entirely. We're going to take the US back to the stone age, only without having to bomb ourselves there. We'll just stop paying people to think and just have them do. "Why Ask Why?" will be the new mantra. Think how much money will be saved in research grants alone!

-Eden (I think Nostradamus said that a bigass comet or asteroid will hit the earth soon and make all of this stuff kind of redundant anyway)
 
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