Wine Violence-A Poem by Ben Sherwin

This thread is almost as good as a poetry workshop at the community center.
 
originally posted by Jeff Grossman:
Are you trying to tell me that

1. are 2. so 3. un 4. be 5. liev 6. a 7. bly 8. vio 9. lent

is actually 7 bits of speech?

(Note: IANAP.)
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A beat is a stress. Thus a 10 syllable iambic line has 5 beats. You are counting syllables. I'm not sure what Ben means when he says he was using a 7 beat line, but I've never been able to scan sprung rhythm, for instance, so maybe, as I said, the meter is more complex than I can read.
 
Wow, talk about taking all the fun out of life. I guess I'm a chawbacon (though Brad prefers calling me other abusive names) as I enjoyed the poem. Keep it up Ben and damn the torpedoes!
 
I like the limerick, Mark.

Here's a haiku, if I'm remembering the groupings correctly:

Inviting, limpid
From the glass it beckons. Come,
Taste my bitter blood.

Guess it could be more violent. But bitter must count for something.
 
i keep on thinking there's room here for a band name like wine violence.....or at least a pub name...that serves mostly microbrews
 
originally posted by Michel Abood:
Wow, talk about taking all the fun out of life. I guess I'm a chawbacon (though Brad prefers calling me other abusive names) as I enjoyed the poem. Keep it up Ben and damn the torpedoes!
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You merit it. For instance, if you could follow a thread, my chawbacon comment wasn't directed at Ben, or his lovely poem, putz.
 
originally posted by Brad Kane:
originally posted by Michel Abood:
Wow, talk about taking all the fun out of life. I guess I'm a chawbacon (though Brad prefers calling me other abusive names) as I enjoyed the poem. Keep it up Ben and damn the torpedoes!
Click to expand...

You merit it. For instance, if you could follow a thread, my chawbacon comment wasn't directed at Ben, or his lovely poem, putz.
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I know that, I was just appropriating your linguistic inventions for my own uses. And if you had read my post, you'd have known that.
 
OK, this has gotten way out of hand. I hereby apologize to Ben for dissing his fine poem. It's clear on rereading that the complex and shifting meter defeated my primitive scanning abilities. Further, my spouse, who was a Renaissance scholar in grad school, says it reminds her of Ben Jonson. And further still, I don't know what chawbacon is or what it has to do with any of this.
 
originally posted by Jonathan Loesberg:
And further still, I don't know what chawbacon is or what it has to do with any of this.
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Susannah suggested I was a Yankee when I pointed out to Jeff the proper way to break down the word violent. Her response suggested she may inahabit somewhere that's at least a fifteen minute drive south into Maryland on 95, excepting your neck of the woods and some of its environs, aka Chawbaconland.
 
I was under the impression that a Chawbacon was a member of the tall, hairy alien race that palled around with stocky robots in the first "Star Wars" movie.

I guess I was wrong. This is getting pretty deep.

-Eden (and who says poetry isn't a broadening experience?)
 
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