The little mouse that roared

Oswaldo Costa

Oswaldo Costa
After four mostly splendid weeks of merry darting, the time came for us to bid adieu. Together with the luggage, I placed a Styrofoam-lined carton with a dozen souvenirs on the rubber-lined scale at the Charles de Gaulle check-in counter. The clerk asked "what’s in the box?" I replied "la gloire de la France." He smiled faintly and said, "ah, du vin."

After immigration, there were no less than three stores selling duty-free wine. Maybe the duty-free concept meant something in our parents' time, but for decades now the pantomime of asking for your boarding pass is wallpaper over an entirely illusory advantage, one close to legalized scam. But there's always time to kill at airports, and the duty-free looms, like Everest.

The structural nature of the duty-free is such that medium or large scale industrial wines, made robust with preservatives, is the ideal fare. It is rare to find something of potential interest to deviants. This was no exception, but because it’s France, there were three shops. As I said (above), three. In the largest, there was even a fridge with a handful of La Taches and DRCs, available for between three and five thousand eurobuckaroos. So there are exceptions to the industrial fare, but only at the highest end.

But not all industrials are equally shrug worthy. Some might even do in a pinch. In one of the smaller shops there were a few dozen screw-capped 187s of 2009 Bouchard Père & Fils Bourgogne weighing in at a promising 12.5%. Each for the far-from-princely sum of 3.10. Now, I would wager that even the most intransigent amongst you might countenance a 750 of industrial Bourgogne for 12.40 under exploitative pricing conditions. And four 187s hoisted upon a ten hour flight would allow the proud possessor the option of drinking one, two, three, even four such little lobotomies according to the degree of whim. Not to mention that, back home, four such screw capped thingies would allow the proud possessor to divide a 750 into four evenings of moderation, should he be drinking solo because his wife is pregnant and watching his weight because he just spent a month in France tasting 246 varieties of cheese.

And what about the wine, you may ask, if you have borne thus far. I only had one, so cannot yet account for lilliputian bottle variation. But the one was extremely potable, pleasurable even. Albeit simple, it delivering more pinosity than I had brought myself to expect. Aromatic, decent acidity, mildly dilute, but certainly not too much so for anyone with a modicum of worldliness. If this was made in a lab, maybe Bouchard can replace all those lost Mollydookers.

In parting, I must share a final indignation. If this costs 3.10 in a near scam situation, the airlines can probably get it, in volume, for less than 1.00. Instead of drinking the near swill that we are offered, gratis on international carriers but usually for $7 in American ones, I could live with the monotony of drinking only this little thing on airplanes going forward. Barring that, every duty-free store in the world could stock 187s of such unpretentious Bourgognes, making most of us happier campers in the sky while raising the standards of civilization for non deviants everywhere.
 
In parting, I must share a final indignation. If this costs 3.10 in a near scam situation, the airlines can probably get it, in volume, for less than 1.00. Instead of drinking the near swill that we are offered, gratis on international carriers but usually for $7 in American ones, I could live with the monotony of drinking only this little thing on airplanes going forward. Barring that, every duty-free store in the world could stock 187s of such unpretentious Bourgognes, making most of us happier campers in the sky while raising the standards of civilization for non deviants everywhere.

While I applaud the sentiment, I can make a good guess that about 99% of wine drinking fliers in the USA would prefer the oak chip frappe that is currently being served over the Bouchard...
 
I find the Champagne they serve free on Air France (when it's not listed as a Delta flight; then they charge) usually to be decent in the manner you describe. The wine is usually the lowest order of industrial swill. It's unspoofed industrial swill though since it's too cheap to merit the expense of laboratory treatment. More recently, the red has been Beaucastel's Cote Ventoux, la Vielle Ferme, which is pretty OK industrial swill.
 
I drank 2008 Magnien CdNV on my AirFrance flight earlier this summer. they were also serving a Philipponnat champagne, some chardonnay from the maconnais, and a bordeaux, the name of which I don't recall. On the flight over, the CdNV was tolerable but then I got spoiled with too much excellent burgundy and couldn't drink it on the return flight.
 
originally posted by Jonathan Loesberg:
I find the Champagne they serve free on Air France (when it's not listed as a Delta flight; then they charge) usually to be decent in the manner you describe. The wine is usually the lowest order of industrial swill. It's unspoofed industrial swill though since it's too cheap to merit the expense of laboratory treatment. More recently, the red has been Beaucastel's Cote Ventoux, la Vielle Ferme, which is pretty OK industrial swill.

IMO their LVF white is some of the best industrial swill out there.
 
I once had an eight year old La Vielle Ferme red that had gotten lost in a non-wine geek's distinctly unthermally controlled wine cabinet. It was surprisingly good, tasting something like a Rhone wine at 10-15 would taste. I've occasionally had the impulse to try that with one of their whites. I agree, it's nice cheap plonk with some regional character.
 
Calling Bouchard 'industrial swill' - that's where the unrelenting geekiness of this bored finally takes one...
 
Just flew business class on Lot (Polish airline) to Warsaw, and I would have gladly welcomed some industrial swill. It would have been a vast improvement on the offerings.
 
originally posted by VS:
Calling Bouchard 'industrial swill' - that's where the unrelenting geekiness of this bored finally takes one...

I don't think anyone singled out Bouchard as such, the expression was used to refer to everyday airline fare. If anything, I (at least) was doing the opposite, fantasizing about Bouchard replacing the industrial swill we normally get when we fly economy. Geeks would be happier, and maybe some of the people who David says don't care would also be happier. Some of the latter would have minor wine epiphanies and eventually become geeks and join boards like this to slam industrial swill and defend Bouchard.

PS: Figuring Lavinia would only have one Bobal from Manchuela, I asked the minuscule nipponic saleslady for the Bobal from Manchuela. It didn't say Finca Sandoval, so I figured it was some satellite label. Only in the metro, scrutinizing the fine print at leisure, did it dawn on me that it wasn't your Bobal. Chastizing myself for my usual trusting unattentiveness, I went back to Lavinia and exchanged it.
 
You probably missed out on a great Manchuela bobal then - by my young friend Juan Antonio Ponce. Low-sulfur, fresh and terroir-rich.
 
originally posted by VS:
You probably missed out on a great Manchuela bobal then - by my young friend Juan Antonio Ponce. Low-sulfur, fresh and terroir-rich.

Better than yours, then.

You'll have to come to Singapore to punch me.
 
originally posted by Oswaldo Costa:
Both have 14.0% alcohol, so one can be sure that neither is better (or more purple) than the other.

You could assign points, and reduce the wines to not one but two distinct numbers!
 
originally posted by Salil Benegal:
originally posted by Oswaldo Costa:
Both have 14.0% alcohol, so one can be sure that neither is better (or more purple) than the other.
Isn't the purple determined by anthocyanin/acidity, not alcohol?
Acidity (proxy for ripeness) can determine titration state of anthocyanins and related pigments and so purpleosity.
 
Defining a wine by color before tasting is very important. After all, purple has so many connotations...especially regarding shirt colors and guys (but not limited to). This thread has suddenly become very entertaining.
 
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