Patrick's new gig, NYC PSA

I have a friend that despises waiting. He takes an approach he calls "schmearing", which involves placing a crisp bill, large in dollar amount, discreetly in the palm of his hand. He then approaches the host or hostess with a big smile and reaches out to shake hands while saying something like, "It is wonderful to see you. I am so excited to [be back here again][be trying what I have heard is phenomenal food and service]! How long do you think it will be for a table of [insert number of people]?"

Personally, I find this disgusting, but I have seen him make it work. Many times. Me, I think that waiting builds character.
 
Greasing the palm is a time-honored tradition. It is not technically necessary but it can improve the outcome of otherwise anonymous processes.
 
Its called palmage (sp?) in the trade.

I have never done it upfront but I have tipped on the way out.

It also works wonders at all access/general admission music shows

Personally I slip Patrick a bottle of Overnoy to get a table.
 
Tipping on the way out is not objectionable, in my opinion. The difference is between showing appreciation for good service already received versus paying in advance to be treated differently than other patrons (a bribe for preferential treatment).
 
so here I am at Mt Snow, VT, trying to get a table for 11 at 9pm on New Year's Eve. I am told to wait 45-60 minutes for a 50% chance of getting seated. So I do some uncharacteristically quick thinking, weigh my options, and, taking VT's political climate into consideration, strike the following conversation with the host:
- we love new year's eve
- we are from russia, it's really big there
- in fact, I could see Alaska from my house
Table for 11 was ready in 10 minutes.
But that's not the point of the story. Most of my companions were from russia indeed, and in order to impress them I had to lie and tell them I bribed the guy to get a table.
Right, Gene ?
 
That article was pretty great, Jeff.

I've never thought that bit of bribery was quite so sinister, but then I am not as scrupulous as the good Michael Lewis.

But I did always struggle with finding the right amount.
 
Perhaps "disgusting" was too strong of a word. After all, I did join my friend at the table after being told of his efforts to schmear our way there.

Still, it did not sit quite right with me.
 
originally posted by Michael Lewis:
Perhaps "disgusting" was too strong of a word. After all, I did join my friend at the table after being told of his efforts to schmear our way there.

Still, it did not sit quite right with me.

I'm sure that we'll get some posts to contradict me, but when I moved to NYC for graduate school in 1973 after having spent all my life in California, one of the unpleasant shocks for me was the way people expected bribes for everything -- "key fees" for apartments, a little extra slipped in at the box office for seats (or better ones) for a show or concert, etc., etc. Absolutely wasn't done out here and AFAIAA, it still isn't.
 
originally posted by .sasha:
so here I am at Mt Snow, VT, trying to get a table for 11 at 9pm on New Year's Eve. I am told to wait 45-60 minutes for a 50% chance of getting seated. So I do some uncharacteristically quick thinking, weigh my options, and, taking VT's political climate into consideration, strike the following conversation with the host:
- we love new year's eve
- we are from russia, it's really big there
- in fact, I could see Alaska from my house
Table for 11 was ready in 10 minutes.
But that's not the point of the story. Most of my companions were from russia indeed, and in order to impress them I had to lie and tell them I bribed the guy to get a table.
Right, Gene ?

This is brilliant.
 
Went there on Saturday. Dinner mostly delightful: excellent roasted octopus, duck confit "tots", and the quail dish; good veal cheeks but maybe not again; not inspired by either cod or mackerel (and we like fishy fishes); desserts were very good, particularly the texture of the fernet branca ice cream sandwich.

The wine list is, indeed, as fabulous as the above comments indicate. Disorderly in depth and well-priced; and it's easy to see which bottles are not. So many good choices, in fact, that I am working assiduously to re-visit soon. (They have a few more weeks of visits by critics and then they can climb down from the ceiling.)

We drank the Kartauserhof 2002 Spat which is in a beautiful place now. The acidity is still vibrant but not so sharp. The fruit has spread out and warmed up a little. Pretty.
 
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