Advice from my betters, please

B

Brad Widelock

Brad Widelock
Friday night finds our hero at the Slanted Door with his wife, child, child's second grade teacher and her husband. The occasion was a thank you dinner for the teacher, our treat. The teacher's husband hears that we are "into wine" and brings along a 2007 Darioush Cabernet. Our hero has brought a Willi Schaefer 2003 Graacher Domprobst Spätlese and has no desire to open the Darioush. He has been looking forward to ordering something off the list all day, and avoiding corkage. (And yes, we are well mannered, and always offer a glass to the house.)

What to do? Our hero did nothing. He did not want to offend the guest and did not object when he requested that the bottle be opened and decanted. Our hero and his wife did not like the wine. With the skill of a child hiding lima beans on a dinner plate, they manage to drink almost none of it. At the end of the meal, the husband apologizes for the wine. At the very least, he realizes it was not a good choice for the food. At most he seemed embarrassed that he had bought the hype about the wine and that it did not meet his expectations.

The Schaefer was delicious. Our hero seeks advice on what to do should this circumstance occur again.

Brad
 
I usually tell our dining guests ,that hear we are " into wine" and want to bring something I know we won't be interested in , " hey thanks for the offer but you are doing us a huge favor by letting us bring the wine. We have so much we will never drink it all. So, really you are doing us a favor by letting us bring the juice".
Usually works, but not always.
 
I don't know what Darioush is and have no idea about the 'hype', but from my perspective if you're in a situation where politeness is paramount it is always easier to just say that the wine is not your style. Making a pronouncement about his wine not going with the food could come off as a bit authoritative and know-it-all, which may or may not be fine depending on the relationship.

That said, if he had his Darioush and you had your Schaefer, there was plenty of opportunity for everyone to be happy!
 
originally posted by Oliver McCrum:
If no-one brings a bottle, you won't have to drink what the other person brings. They have an amazing list, too.
Click to expand...
If the wine list is still good the influence of Ellenbogen must still be represented. The food is so inferior to what it used to be it's just terribly sad. They are the victims of their own success. I wouldn't think of eating there anymore. I remember when. It was so good!!!!
 
Brad, I think you handled it as well as it could be done. He is anticipating opening that wine and he should be allowed to do so. When very little gets drunk I think it is best to fall back on "a chacun son gout" -- the wine is fine but it does not suit me tonight.

I have tried the direct and honest approach in the past. It does not work.
 
I agree with Jeff. Unless you are a modern day James Bond, or maybe Talleyrand, trying to say, "I know this is a special bottle, but it might not show as well as it might otherwise with our food tonight, so, how about saving it for another special occasion?", is just a recipe for a sullen reaction and not a pleasant rest of the evening.
 
originally posted by Jeff Grossman:
Brad, I think you handled it as well as it could be done. He is anticipating opening that wine and he should be allowed to do so. When very little gets drunk I think it is best to fall back on "a chacun son gout" -- the wine is fine but it does not suit me tonight.

I have tried the direct and honest approach in the past. It does not work.
Click to expand...
This is why you were so friendly last week.
 
Does the husband teach third grade? At the same school?
Semi-seriously: I'd order something suitable to start and tell him I want to savor the trophy on its own. (I'd also order car service for ride home-half a glass of that inky mess and nobody should drive.)

Best,
John
 
I'm going to second or third Jeff's advice. The occasion was to thank your child's teacher. The husband was trying to do something nice in return. Politeness trumps wine geekery every time. If you become friends, you can start treating them with the highhandedness that seems the preferred style of wine boards.
 
1. in these circumstances, the correct response on spying the offending bottle is, of course, to shit your pants with excitement. at the very least, you should liberally sprinkle the conversation with some "oh god"s, and "oh my, this shit is the best"s.

this initial response will do much to please your adversary, and it neatly sets the stage for:

2. because "darioush is the shit," and because XXXX is a vintage that you have been longing to taste, you will naturally want to beg its owner to be allowed to be the one to try the wine when the wine waiter arrives.

this too will make your adversary feel relaxed, special and happy; and it will set the stage for:

3. your smelling of the wine will be an elaborate, near pornographic episode. you will swirl and sniff, and sniff some more. you will nod and shake your head excitedly. (you might also stand up and sit down a couple of times.) you will sigh a lot. a few murmurs of, "oh my!" are recommended.

as a part of this process, you will also gesture to the wine waiter to set the bottle down. "it"s ok," you will tell him, "we are wine lovers, we will pour for ourselves."

make sure you attend to where the bottle is placed.

4. take one last, lingering sniff, sigh, hold the glass to the light, and then thrust it under the nose of the diner seated on the side opposite to the one where the bottle now resides. excitedly invite him / her to share in your sensory orgy.

now comes the technical part:

5. step #4 will have served to ensure that your fellow diners' eyes will be fixed on the glass. as your victim takes his / her sniff, you will set your face into a beaming expression that asks, "how can wine be this good?" and spread your arms as if to emphasize its rhetorical nature. in doing so, you will use your spare hand, which, conveniently, is farthest from the action, to swat the offending bottle firmly to the floor.

6. you are heartbroken. (a tear or two may be in order.) you will apologize profusely. (though doubtless, since your expectations have been crushed the most, it is you that your fellow diners will rush to console.)

7. amends must be made! you will call for the list. "the darioush is irreplaceable," you declare. (tears may be in order here as well.)

you would not dream of foisting an inferior imitation on your guests. you order chinon instead.

fb.
 
Unfortunately, the bottle Darioush uses is so heavy, that it would not break even on a cement floor.
So maybe Jeff has a more workable suggestion.
More's the pity.
Best, Jim
 
originally posted by Lou Kessler:
Wine List
originally posted by Oliver McCrum:
If no-one brings a bottle, you won't have to drink what the other person brings. They have an amazing list, too.
Click to expand...
If the wine list is still good the influence of Ellenbogen must still be represented. The food is so inferior to what it used to be it's just terribly sad. They are the victims of their own success. I wouldn't think of eating there anymore. I remember when. It was so good!!!!
Click to expand...

Thanks, Lou. The point of the list in my day was to make it very difficult to order something that didn't work with the menu (and tons of stuff I actually wanted to drink.)

My favorite was to start the meal with a cool vintage of Schaefer Domprobst Kabinett, followed by a Dönnhoff Hermannshöhle Spätlese.

The ingredients were very different once upon a time.
 
originally posted by SFJoe:
Wow, what a jointI wasn't really aware of these guys. Such a pile!
Click to expand...

I find stone columns that do not serve any supporting role in a larger structure to be in poor taste. Of course, I make an except for ruins, but then ruins were not designed that way.
 
What's the matter with them? I agree with fb, the Darioush must definitely be the shit, but how come it's only $45? How much prestige does that really buy?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top