And while we are on the topic of bad wine writing

kirk wallace

kirk wallace
I am surprised that there hasn't been more opprobrium here about James Laube's idiotic and dishonest piece on In Pursuit of Balance and the reign of terror imposed by certain "Dim Somms." (I can't get the upload function to work on a pdf of it; perhaps others can or can get behind the paywall here: http://www.winespectator.com/magazine/show/id/50346 .)

It is as if he thinks Sommeliers are entirely in control of what customers want. Perhaps it just my time at Chicago, but I think more of the market than that. Indeed, I think it is the opposite. IPOB is a very logical reaction to market forces. And in that vein, I happened on this comment by a merchant with whom I am not familiar:


I wonder if he even keeps track of his prior writing: http://www.winespectator.com/blogs/show/id/46582

There may be no magic to 14%, but doesn't it, or even some lower line, make sense as a rule of thumb? One has to start somewhere. Saying that that doesn't work for sunny, warm climates is an odd answer. If I like high alcohol fruit and tannin bombs, great; I know where to seek them out; if I don't, and enough others don't, then the question is whether the market will encourage wine makers, even in sunny, warm places to figure out how to address that market demand. maybe different grapes? maybe different sites or canopy management; maybe a dozen other things I know nothing about. But a sommelier or wine director who ignores what his customers want --or can't educate and inspire folks such that they become REPEAT customers -- is quickly unemployed. To this customer, the only "Dim Somms" are those who don't listen and learn from their customers desires (and in some cases experiences) and then in turn delight and surprise their customers and, ideally, expand their horizons.

Wine writing, at its best, does the same. Not in evidence in Mr. Laube's piece. Nor, piling on, in Huon's piece that Jay posted today.
 
That piece is pretty funny. Laube poses as the impartial judge of trends in California wine, when of course half the premium wine in the state (at least) has been made to his order and spec (which also matches RP pretty well) for decades.

Some folks decide they might want to drink something else, and hey presto, Laube's mad.
 
I had a brief discussion about this the other day with a California winemaker of my acquaintance, who said, "why judge alcohol? Those wines are all rebalanced by R/O anyway, they can certainly dial them in to 13.9% if that's what people want. The real problem is that they're harvested at 30 brix."

And there are balanced and interesting wines made from warm and sunny places. But it turns out that maybe you shouldn't plant chardonnay on Santorini, or its California analog.

Maybe CA needs more Carriacante or Assyrtiko.
 
Kirk,
Perhaps, the reason there hasn't been much response is:
- it is behind a paywall
- the premise is rather trite now
- the author is virtually irrelevant
- many folks have to rearrange their sick drawer.
Or not.
Best, Jim
 
Thanks. How common is it for producers to take advantage of the 1.5% allowance for wines under 14% and the 1% allowance for wines above 14%? Laube says a wine marked 13.9% can actually be 15.4%. Isn't that false? If the wine is actually 15.4%, then isn't the lowest it could be marked 14.4%, or is the allowance based off of what is marked rather than the actual ABV?
 
It's all a conspiracy! It's all a conspiracy! Three sommeliers who work for the Bavarian Illuminati decide what everyone will drink!

Ahem.

Kirk, you can't upload PDFs here. I can teach you how to hack it, if you like.

---

When I was looking for bad wine writing, I came across the Marcassin letter in which they describe just how wrong the folks at DRC have got it.
 
originally posted by Jeff Grossman:
Kirk, you can't upload PDFs here.

How about posting as a picture?

Jim_Laube_IPOB_write_up_Wine_Spectator_Sept_3.jpg
 
"A story a friend told me of an episode he recently witnessed at a top Napa restaurant"

I was hoping the story was about the chupacabra, or at least razor blades in apples.
 
originally posted by Florida Jim:
Kirk,
Perhaps, the reason there hasn't been much response is:
- it is behind a paywall
- the premise is rather trite now
- the author is virtually irrelevant
- many folks have to rearrange their sick drawer.
Or not.
Best, Jim

I hadn't seen the "blame the sommelier" angle before; at least not in this direct and insulting a way. But I do suppose cleaning up after an earthquake can also take priority over worrying about Mr. Laube's needing to fill some column inches.

P.S. I like the typo of sick drawer for sock drawer; created quite an image there for a moment.

And thank you Sharon for that bit of tech prowess!
 
Sure thing, Mr. W.

And I hadn't gotten the "sock drawer" out of "sick drawer." It was pretty evocative. Like a "hurt locker" or something.
 
originally posted by SFJoe:
I had a brief discussion about this the other day with a California winemaker of my acquaintance, who said, "why judge alcohol? Those wines are all rebalanced by R/O anyway, they can certainly dial them in to 13.9% if that's what people want. The real problem is that they're harvested at 30 brix."

And there are balanced and interesting wines made from warm and sunny places. But it turns out that maybe you shouldn't plant chardonnay on Santorini, or its California analog.

Maybe CA needs more Carriacante or Assyrtiko.
Well, we need more Carricante and Assyrtiko, that's for sure. So do Santorini and Sicily. California? Sure, why not? Someone must be growing these varieties in California.

30 Brix, eh? Vin Doux Naturel, anyone?
 
originally posted by Jeff Connell:
originally posted by SFJoe:
I had a brief discussion about this the other day with a California winemaker of my acquaintance, who said, "why judge alcohol? Those wines are all rebalanced by R/O anyway, they can certainly dial them in to 13.9% if that's what people want. The real problem is that they're harvested at 30 brix."

And there are balanced and interesting wines made from warm and sunny places. But it turns out that maybe you shouldn't plant chardonnay on Santorini, or its California analog.

Maybe CA needs more Carriacante or Assyrtiko.
Well, we need more Carricante and Assyrtiko, that's for sure. So do Santorini and Sicily. California? Sure, why not? Someone must be growing these varieties in California.

30 Brix, eh? Vin Doux Naturel, anyone?

It's essential for phenolic ripeness.
 
Thanks for the post, Sharon-Kirk.

Two things come to mind, now that I've read the whole thing. First, is there any cryptographic connection between IPOB and AFWE? Because I'm sure I've read this screed before.

And second, I think Laube's writing is a natural fit, when spoken aloud, for Emily Litella. Try it for yourself.
 
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