Thanks so much for those stories, folks. They're proving to be cathartic in an unexpected way. It's still painful to think about him, but I feel his presence a bit better for your efforts. Since he and I have crossed paths only occasionally these past few decades and relied more on the Internet to stay in touch, I have but a few of my own to contribute:
Some time in the early aughties, getting together with Joe and another mutual friend at Slanted Door, where we had a fabulous if decadent lunch and opened several fantastic Grüner Veltliners, all while listening to him extol the virtues of Age of Riesling as a retail source after I lamented the accessibility of quality wines from Germany and Austria in the Bay Area.
After a trip to Columbia, I spoke or emailed with Joe, perhaps about the time he'd invited me to Wine Therapy, about my shopping expedition to Garnet to buy wines while in town (Garnet had been my source of KLWM imports when in grad school in the '80s). I recall telling him that I bought a '99 Dunn Howell Mountain (still in my cellar), a '99 Roumier MSD (also still in the cellar) and an '01 Knoll GV. His response: "Ooh! Livin' large, I see" which, coming from him, was most hilarious.
A party at Joe's SF pied-a-terre with many of the West Coast Therapy denizens in early '05. He introduced me to fatboy and mark e, opened a magnum of Huet Petillant '02 (Reserve? maybe) and grilled all sorts of fantastic things on the back porch, regaling us with his views on lump charcoal. The quail produced some Mayakovsky from the Russians on the back porch and I also recall a Breton Bourgueil Franc de Pied. We couldn't spend too long there that day as I was toting around our then-5-month-old son in a Baby Bjorn while swilling wine and munching on goodies.
A get-together with Joe, Jay, Dale Williams and Betsy at Cendrillon during a seminar visit to NYU. Surprisingly, this was the first time Dale had met Joe, so I guess that I can take a wee bit of credit for bringing people together. The food was fantastic, the wines were terrific (mostly Burgundy and Syrah as I recall), and of course the owners came out to chat and share our wine since they knew Joe so well. About that time, Joe opened a bottle of Vin Jaune which he shared with the table. I think that Jean and I provided him with much amusement with our recoil after smelling it. "Yeah, the acetaldehyde in the nose isn't for everyone," he said with a big smile. Afterward, Jean and I got a tour of Chateauneuf-du-Joe and, with apologies for his limited in-house stock of wines, he opened a Larmandier-Bernier non-dosé BdB ("the only Chardonnay I drink") as we took in the view from up there and reminisced until the wee hours.
My last sighting: at Ten Bells the night their chef quit, with Jeff and Sasha. We were struggling to make sense of what was going on, but soldiering on with Ganevat Cuvée Julien and a non-ouillé Savignan when in blew Joe. Our treatment immediately improved, we got a complete explanation of what was going on, and the whole evening took on a much cheerier cast (the brandade they were then able to produce helped immensely).
Then, of course, there were the email exchanges. The most memorable of the non-business-related ones was on the subject of the Steve Verlin auction put on by HDH. Knowing Joe to be a frequent presence at their bar, I emailed him about the backstory and, as usual, he knew the whole story, Russian hookers and all.
People who know me think that I know a lot about a lot of different things, but when I was in Joe's presence, I always learned so much about so many different topics. And, yes, he was able to do that without ever being in the least bit condescending or patronizing. He was always inviting you along on the ride, and was the most gracious person I have probably ever known.
Mark Lipton