Navigating family eating holidays

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Sharon Bowman

Sharon Bowman
I feel fairly sanguine this Thanksgiving upcoming, after having assessed my familial palate for wine these four years I've been back from France.

My sister "only likes whites." I fiddled around with different volumes, and found out that Mosse Anjou Blanc is a hit out of the park. It comes with, Thursday.

My brother loves Chinon, and anything Baudry is a necessity—though two years ago, an Eminence Road Cabernet Franc was much beloved.

My sister-in-law "only likes reds." I fiddled around. She also likes somewhat riper wines than my brother (her spouse); she is a horse-loving person and has cottoned to both Coudert Fleurie's depiction and its contents.

My parents are mostly abstainers who pitch in to make it seem like they're taking an interest in my hobby. They've liked demi-sec Vouvray, but also Ganevat Cuvée Julien Pinot Noir and Marguerite Chardonnay (both from magnum). For me, it's fun to see them (in the case of my father) finish a glass, or (in the case of my mother) request a little more. Also, sometimes I get to finish their pours.

Oddly, champagne has been a hard sell.

Anyone else have a wine challenge with family? As befits my missionary (not to say proselytizing) nature, I'd like to communicate what it is that is so great, but suited to each.
 
My Mom is 91.
She seems to like my rose but all of my other wines she'll pass on. What's really cool though, is she criticizes them (quite frankly) and so I get to hear the unvarnished opinion of someone with no experience in wine.
Last Thanksgiving I brought one of my syrahs. She didn't like it from the bottle but asked for ice cubes. I got them for her and she liked that. I tried it myself.
So did I.
Bless her heart.
Best, Jim
 
Challenges? My wife likes ripe reds and unoaked dry whites, so plenty to work with there. We'll be spending Thanksgiving with her parents and brother and his family. My mother-in-law likes white wines. My father-in-law likes beer but will drink a bold red. My brother-in-law is a doctor who has a Eurocave filled with donated wines (mostly spooky CalCabs and WS wines of the year. His wife is a pesca vegetarian who insists on cooking turkey and drinks Kendall Jackson Chardonnay. I'm going to look for a Huet Reserve Petillant (usually available locally) and do my share of proselytizing.

Mark Lipton
 
It is an interesting issue for those of us with families who have different/lower levels of wine appreciation.

I've been bringing the holiday wines for about 15 years now and I used to be more engaged with getting them excited about the wines. I also used to try to figure out their specific preferences.

But, at least for my family, I realized that their preferences are fairly mild and they mainly just want something wet, alcoholic, and without any crazy characteristics. So, I focus on bringing stuff that I like, and we all win!

This year it will be a few 2014 Huet demi secs and 2013 Chamonard.
 
Sharon, your family sounds like the perfect geek squad when it comes to wines (of course, they are being foisted upon them). What to do when you have a family with really no interest in wines? I'm usually having a glass or two trying to interest others in trying something they really have no desire to try, and it has to compete with various beers on the tables. Needless to say, a tough sell, but I am hoping they'll love Sandlands Trousseau as much as I do!
 
3/4 of the family I visit for Thanksgiving doesn't drink.

The others will occasionally consider having a glass of wine but sometimes won't (I still lament the bottle of Pierre Peters Rose that was untouched by anyone but myself some years ago).

I'll usually bring a bottle of either Vouvray or Riesling. Most of it is left over but it gets more takers that anything else I've tried.
 
We have nephews and nieces and some friends at our Thanksgiving. They like to taste any wine I put out since they know if they don't like it, I'll just get another one for them to try. They are mostly craft beer drinkers on their own and I regularly offer to have that on hand and am told to serve wine as it's an occasion for them to drink stuff they can't get elsewhere. I am blessed with nieces and nephews and their partners and spouses who like to experiment more than they like to indulge in habit.
 
None of my family is particularly interested in wine (except for one brother who knows EVERYTHING about wine and everything else on earth for that matter--thankfully he lives far away).

On Christmas Eve my other brother holds a big party and many people bring wine as do I. It is an opportunity to taste things that would otherwise never come into my wine orbit. Layer Cake, Cupcake, Little Black Dress, Fronterra and a plethora of Kendall Jackson products are always well represented. Once someone brought The Prisoner touting it as highly recommended by the guy at the wine shop (tasted like Port made by a scientist from Nabisco or Exxon/Mobil). No surprise the wines are universally rich, quite alcoholic, a little sweet and heavily doctored with manufactured tannins. Sometimes it gets me kind of depressed.

I long ago abandoned trying to convert anyone to even trying the thin, acidic, earthy wines we drink and just leave the stuff on the table with everything else and let nature take its course.
 
For my usual family gathering, as guest, I tend to abide by the two bottle rule. One bottle for the house and one for me and my wife to drink. This satisfies both requirements of a proper guest and the need for something enjoyable to drink. Otherwise I am saddled, like other commenters, with cheap Bordeaux's and other insipid choices.

I have made peace with these family gatherings that have become a time of dull and polite conversation and equally dull and polite food. It's only a few times of year anyway, why fight it? As Kay has said, let nature take its course.
 
Good points made, and makes sense. I guess they like the geeky stuff, because that's what they're going to get when I'm coming to dinner. I feel like I choose on the more consensual side, that said. SFJ was more push-the-envelope with them, though I did try once to sneak in a Bornard pet' nat' rosé that went over like Jay's Pierre Peters. (Jay, since when is having Pierre Peters rosé all to yourself a bad thing, again?)

Probably for me the lesson I should have learned happened over a decade ago, when I was convinced that people had simply mental hangups about offal, and that it wasn't rooted in anything like taste. I brought a bunch of andouillettes to my parents' home for a Sunday dinner en famille.

The things you learn.
 
originally posted by JasonA:
For my usual family gathering, as guest, I tend to abide by the two bottle rule. One bottle for the house and one for me and my wife to drink. This satisfies both requirements of a proper guest and the need for something enjoyable to drink. Otherwise I am saddled, like other commenters, with cheap Bordeaux's and other insipid choices.

I have made peace with these family gatherings that have become a time of dull and polite conversation and equally dull and polite food. It's only a few times of year anyway, why fight it? As Kay has said, let nature take its course.
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I actually like all my relatives, especially my aunt. Spending time with them more than makes up for the food and (lack of) wine.
 
originally posted by Sharon Bowman:

Probably for me the lesson I should have learned happened over a decade ago, when I was convinced that people had simply mental hangups about offal, and that it wasn't rooted in anything like taste. I brought a bunch of andouillettes to my parents' home for a Sunday dinner en famille.

The things you learn.
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I guess this hasn't ever occurred to me. I grew up eating liver and tongue, the latter quite frequently. Europeans sure don't have any misgivings about eating all the offal which we find awful. When I lived in Torino my apartment was across the street from a specialty butcher shop called "The House of Tripe." Lucky to have it so close.
 
My rule as a host is that I want my guests to have a good time. There are other venues for education to occur. So I try to give them what they want. My rule as a guest is to be grateful for the hospitality I receive, which I generally find to be gracious. Only those people who, knowing my enthusiasms, actively ask to try geeky wines get them and they know they're free to say yech about them to me. I should say, I have never had any civilians turn their noses up at CdPs from Charvin, Pegau, VT, VD and the like, although some of my geek friends do.

My wife happily eats liver but almost no other offal. I have to eat brains and sweetbreads and the like at French restaurants. She used to try them when I did, but now won't even do that. It has so far not put any particular stress on our marriage.
 
originally posted by mark e:
originally posted by Sharon Bowman:

Probably for me the lesson I should have learned happened over a decade ago, when I was convinced that people had simply mental hangups about offal, and that it wasn't rooted in anything like taste. I brought a bunch of andouillettes to my parents' home for a Sunday dinner en famille.

The things you learn.
Click to expand...

I guess this hasn't ever occurred to me. I grew up eating liver and tongue, the latter quite frequently. Europeans sure don't have any misgivings about eating all the offal which we find awful. When I lived in Torino my apartment was across the street from a specialty butcher shop called "The House of Tripe." Lucky to have it so close.
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The funny thing is that I really did think that if I simply didn't say what kind of sausages they were, everyone would enjoy them as much as I did and then I could tell them what was inside.

I wonder sometimes if never having been exposed to offal before living in France helped me keep an open mind/palate. I was traumatized by my mother's overcooked pork chops as a child, and even though I've had good renditions as an adult, my knee-jerk reaction when I hear the words "pork chop" is: "Ugh, no thanks."
 
My parents preferred mixed drinks - Dad liked daiquiris - but only rarely drank any wine. Gifted bottles would be put in the cabinet over the stove hood, only to be pulled out many years later in somewhat less-than-perfect condition. I recall one particularly neglected bottle of cheap Soave that tasted like spoiled tomato paste.

Beer fared no better... the cans sat in the back of the bottom shelf for years until some unlucky relative asked for it one.

Nowadays, Thanksgiving is typically a small event. We always open Brun's FRV100 because my partner likes it and it's pretty in a tall trumpet glass. The rest is up to me (or Jay, if he is attending) so we generally drink well.
 
When we visit my in-laws for Thanksgiving, it is usually Burgundy that we drink. Needless to say, we usually visit my in-laws.

If instead we make the trek to Chicago, it is much more like many of the stories above.
 
originally posted by Michael Lewis:
When we visit my in-laws for Thanksgiving, it is usually Burgundy that we drink. Needless to say, we usually visit my in-laws.
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I've usually spent Thanksgiving with friends as my family is in Texas and Montana, so it's a free for all from Bourg to Barolo to Foillard.

This year, my GFs parents are in town with us and her dad brought mags of Hudelot-Noellot Chambolle and Lambrays Caillerets. I'm hoping they become in-laws...
 
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