It is the 22nd century. A virulent mutation of athletes foot has relegated most humans to wheelchairs. Somehow immune are the Maori of New Zealand and those who spend most of their time on sandy soil, like beachcombers, lifeguards, and residents of Venice, CA. Nobel-prizewinning geneticist Joe Dougherty III has developed a way to transform Maori stem cells into pairs of legs that are transplanted unto humans, using the vaccine-grade continuous cold chain method developed by former Wimbledon champion turned ace surgeon Thor Dalton. Everywhere in Northern Europe one sees duotone humans, formerly emaciated torsos with bespectacled heads walking around with new vigor on dark muscular legs. But a backlash ensues and a gathering of self-rooted humans takes place in Tudor City, which rising waters have transformed into the last remaining strip of sand in Manhattan, to celebrate the nostalgic glories of walking on your own two feet. The menu features an amuse of frogs legs in aspic, an appetizer of pickled pigs feet and a main course of leg of lamb accompanied by legumes, a culinary feet of legerdemain. All, of course, irrigated by ungraftedvine wine. And in 3D. Notes to follow (or not).